I don’t know how to live with it
My mind is stuck in between
A time and space of you
and a time and space without you
memories collide
with dreams
with reality
I left you alone
Because I couldn’t understand your pain
Because I couldn’t watch you self-destruct
Because I couldn’t disobey you
Thousands of miles away
Somewhere in my mind
Somewhere in between
Awake and asleep
I fell asleep
Hearing you say my name
I woke up
And you were gone
You took my hope
You took my past
You took my future
You took my mother
I still see you
Thousands of days later
When I close my eyes
Beautiful and happy
Brilliant and smiling
How you were one day
How I always wanted
To see you, someday
I don’t know how to live with it
I don’t know how to live
With your choice
With my anger
With my guilt
I don’t know how to live
I imagine you
In myself
I imagine myself
In your life
You took me with you
In your death.